My Grandfather Died

What the title says. So, on Saturday, I flew out for his funeral. I was there until last night. It was not fun. Funerals rarely are.

I just realised what a phony this makes me seem like, always having reasons to get out of writing on Saturdays. Oh, I couldn't write because my exam results came out. Oh, my grandfather died. But these aren't excuses! Things just happen to happen around the weekend.

Life is strange. I understand that people die, grandparents especially so, but sometimes I believe that they will live forever. This assumption is bolstered by the fact that Queen Elizabeth has been living (and ruling) forever, but if everyone was Queen Elizabeth... Well, I'd hate them all. Also, there would be a lot of confusion everywhere. Point is, not every can live forever. People die. It's the circle of life.

*starts to hum Circle of Life*

I don't know why I wrote this post. It doesn't contain an interesting story (What did you expect?), I don't offer any useful advice (Ha! As if!), and there aren't any pictures (if you absolutely must, here is the link to a picture of the Duchess of Cambridge). I just felt like it, I suppose.

Next week will be the Diamond Jubilee of the immortal Queen's coronation, and possibly Kate's last public appearance before the royal baby is born. More importantly it'll be the first time in months that I'll see all the British royals together. But don't worry. It's on a Sunday, so Saturday's post should proceed as planned. Don't buy it if I say something like 'Oh, I couldn't write because I was looking at pictures of the coronation service.' Because I probably wasn't.

*starts to hum Can You Feel The Love Tonight*

N 

On Dealing With Disappointment

Alternatively titled 'I Am A Terrible Writer Who Doesn't Get To The Point'

Today's post is about the disappointment that comes with the realisation that you are not the best at the things you do. I've always known that, but the fact really hit home after the I got the results of the exams that I had been giving back in March on Friday. Everything I write will be based only on my own experiences with failure and disappointment, so if you have anything you'd like to say on the matter, leave a comment for me to read.

Now, for those of you unfamiliar with how the education system in India works, I'm going to explain it as best I can. After they finish the tenth grade, students sit down to a set of exams that are meant to test their intelligence and capacity to learn, but that really test how much information a person can mindlessly reproduce on paper. These exams are commonly known as the 'Boards' for the inept reason that they are set by a board of people. They are usually held in March and, if everything goes without a hitch, the results come out around the middle of May.

Once everyone gets their results and finishes gloating about it on Facebook, they start applying to colleges. Every college has a certain standard, or 'cut-off', which you must meet in order to get in. After you get into a college, you mooch around there for two years, before giving another set of Boards, and starting the whole process again. 

And some people take this very seriously. They set their sights on one college, and then proceed to spend every waking hour for the couple of years leading up to their Boards working towards getting enough marks to meet it's cut-off. I'll admit that I set my sights on a college too, but in the year before my Board exams, I did the following:

1) Bought an iPad

2) Read the Hunger Games.

3) Became a part of the fandom.

4) Was introduced to a number of YouTubers, such as Charlie McDonnell and Dan Howell

5) Became a Nerdfighter

6) Started a blog

I did a few other things as well, but this was what mostly filled my days. I'd study in between watching Alex read Twilight and playing Gardens of Time for the iPad, and for that reason it surprised me that I was surprised when I had to guess my way through large parts of the exams. A lot of people will dispute this fact, but what do they know? I did wing it, especially through History. And Shakespeare. And Physics. (Now that I think about it, I don't know how I passed these exams)

So, I spent the month between the last exam and Friday worrying. I'd have nightmares in which I'd be unable to finish writing the answers, or in which I'd not know the answers, and even though I knew that that couldn't happen any more, they bothered me. Then I began to devise worst case scenarios in my head - what I'd do if I failed, how I'd cope with having to go to a lousy college. But I'm beating around the bush, here. 

When the results came out, the first number I looked at was mine. And, by some miracle, I'd made the cut-off. And I was chuffed. Until I looked at everyone else's numbers. And saw that they'd all done better than me.
For a while after that, I wondered why I was so disappointed. I'd set myself a target, and, despite all the procrastinating that I did, I reached it. And then I realised what it was.

Like any normal, competitive human being, I was not content with just being good at what I did. I wanted to be the best. I gave up on the idea once I came to terms with the fact that I never could be the best. No one could. It's impossible. With nearly 7 billion people on the planet, it would be an impossible task to track everyone down and prove that they're not as good as you, thereby making you the best. Unless you are Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged. Then it might be possible. But then you'd have the entire universe to contend with. So, no. It's impossible.

But just because you can't be the best shouldn't stop you from trying your best, and being good at the things you do. Also, not being the best is no reason to stop telling people that you are. I did, less than two hours after finding out that I had been beaten by a third of my class. I'm not proud of it.

On a side note, look at what my friend gave me for my birthday. Isn't it the greatest!?

N

Bea Bedankt

I came back from London on Sunday, and I had the most amazing time. Now, unfortunately, I cannot tell you about my holiday because I did a lot and it would be a lot of writing, which is quite a task for any person, let alone a lazy writer like me.

What I will tell you about is the sheer number of people who, before I left, asked me to give their love to Will and Kate. And these were all people who knew me. Mostly family and some friends. I thought it was pretty obvious, but I'm just going to clarify things. I do not know William and Catherine. Well, I do know quite a lot about them, but they don't know that I exist. And that's what our relationship consists of; me worshipping the ground on which they walk and them not knowing I exist.

After I came back, the first thing I did was update myself about the Dutch Inauguration, which I missed because I was 36,000 feet in the air when it was happening. It was very touching, the way Princess Beatrix cried, and the way Queen Maxima cried, and the way the Dutch crowds chanted 'Bea Bedankt' or 'Thank You Bea' when they came outside. And how adorable did the three princesses look in their little matching dresses and headbands?

Contrary to what everyone else's opinion, my favourite person at the event was not Maxima or Beatrix or Catherina-Amalia or even anyone Dutch. My favourite was Princess Letizia of Spain.

My favourite single moment, of course, was this, which is when Willem-Alexander was sworn in as King.

Ah, I love inaugurations. And I'll probably be alive when Catherina-Amalia becomes Queen! Don't know about when her child ascends the throne, though.

Also, MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT HERE, but Castle asked Beckett to marry him! And Beckett couldn't say yes right off the bat because she'd gotten a job somewhere else and she wouldn't be able to be with him, but she's probably going to agree because it's a television show, and they can't have Castle without Beckett and they definitely can't have Castle without Castle! Right!? Right? (Now would be a good time to know that I often overthink things.)

Will this be the first of my on-screen pairings to work out? I don't know. And, honestly, I wouldn't mind if it didn't, because I'm rooting for Neal and Sara over these two, but I do mind that I'll have to wait another entire year to find out.I hate that.

That's all for today, because I'm still unpacking and I need to finish that tonight or risk not having any clothes to wear tomorrow. For the next few weeks, at least, posts will be uploaded regularly on Tuesdays as well as Saturdays for reasons that I will explain in my next post.

Bedankt for reading!

N